In all honesty, So many things happened during 2015 that it's difficult to really internalize it.
It was a really difficult year for me, in a lot of ways. I struggled internally with things that I'm still struggling with and started routines I never kept.
I move out of my parents house and into my own apartment, (an adventure all its own).
I went back to school, but wasn't really able to finish, (even now I have incomplete classes).
I started a new job in a non-retail field. Said job than became a temporary full time job, then was offered to be permanent full time, (with benefits, like a real grown up job!)
I quit working at the bookstore where I met so many wonderful people that I loved working with and I still (always will) miss dearly.
The car I had since college finally became too expensive to repair and I donated it to Make-A-Wish.
Following that, I got the "needs work" vivid green mustang I drive now. (I call her Tempest.)
Closer to home, within my family and myself, some distressing, scary, and negative things happened. Some with pain and sadness. Some with loss and grief. Others with depression and anxiety.
But happy things happened too.
One of the cousins I grew up with got married.
One of my best friends found out she's having a baby.
The new Star Wars movie finally came and it was really good. Unexpectedly enjoyable and good.
I fell in love with podcasts like Thrilling Adventure Hour and Wolf359.
Hamilton, the Broadway musical phenomenon, put a glimmer of excitement back into history for so many people (including myself).
And so many other things.
Yet,
The year for me ended with my old laptop computer not turning on after I spent the majority of the week working on a creative writing project in which I suddenly was feeling alive and giddy and like I was doing what I needed to do.
(I still have to figure out if I lost everything.)
2015 was a year with so many ups and downs. So, so many things happened... but in the end, I think 2015 wasn't a year of growth for me. Not really.
It was one of change and reflection. A year of new things and of learning to let go.
2016 will be about growth. It will be about the application of the things I discovered and learned.
It will be about being the me I want to be. A better me, perhaps, but more like a truer me. One that cares about what comes next as much as she cares about what was before.
2016 will be about chasing the dreams I abandoned: it will be about writing and creating like I always wanted to.
2016 will be about music.
2016 is like any day, any moment, every single hour. It's new, it's the same. It's reapplied time.
And I'm going to take that time and I'm going to meet it half way instead of chasing it, begging to slow down, or dragging it on with me through the bramble.
Welcome 2016.
It's time to get my life on track.
