I've decided it's about time to restart
my blog.
Mostly because I think that I've
actually come to a point where I have something interesting to write
about, moving.
Not just any kind of moving. But moving
out of my parents house, where I've lived surrounded by my family
(lots of people, lots of things going on, all the time) into an
apartment of my own (small, alone, just me, all the time).
It's going to be a whirlwind (it
already feels like thunder storm) and sometimes, especially when I've
had a long day and I'm not feeling well and I think about it too
much, I'm absolutely frightened by the idea of moving out.
It's scary being on your own after
being not on your own for 20+ years.
Honestly though, with work and school
and life and winter, stress is frequently overwhelming for me as is.
So why I decided that now would be a good time to move out into my
own apartment and add regular rent payments and transportation
struggles to the list, is beyond me.
But that's what I decided to do. (The
cheap rent and great neighbors helps...)
Tonight, I met the landlord, signed the
lease, and put down the security deposit.
It was strange, meeting him. He was
nice, military trained. I think he was surprised that I was able to
sustain eye contact with him so well. Years in customer service,
retail, and having relatives and friends in the military make my
comfortable with that but it still surprises people. Pleasantly
though, I think.
Anyway, the whole thing felt a bit like
an impromptu job interview. Especially since I was in my work clothes
still. Although... it was almost more stressful because he was to be
taking my money
instead of paying me more.
Still,
I got through it. Paid my dues, planned the day we would get
underway.
Nerves
are still crippling my ability to function optimally but I'm doing my
best to focus on and “pulse positive emotions” as my Positivity
Coach is teaching me.
Now to
finish some school work, start drawing up a list of apartment
supplies and begin the long, arduous process of packing...
Wish
me luck~!
